Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Once Upon a Time - 5
Srinivas B.B07114
“Here's to alcohol- The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!”
“Homie…Only last night you used the word women instead of alcohol”
"Mmmmm…Women-in-stand-of-alcohol"
“But daaad…54% of alcoholics have an alcoholic parent. Don’t you have some conscientiousness over your lineage facing the liability of holding a dubious depiction of inebriation? "
"Hey Bart… Give Maggie her sax will ya? The dogs’ll know what to do with her. "
"Sure Homer… When have I ever disregarded your words?"
"tssuck, suck" *
*Maybe NOW you know why I never get to speak on the show
Once upon a time roughly 200,000 years ago the intercourse of genetic evolution and chemical combination (research still has doubts on some other intercourse in play) manufactured the first product of our species. And as one of my professors would say, incidentally, he was male…
Since gene composition is simply a random sampling (more famously known as beer-noulli distribution) of parent genes, we can safely base all our discussions on the study of the father of all our fathers – Homer Simpson.
First words
:“I am not as think as you drunk I am”
Permanent State: "Mmmm…"
That explains the origin and the import of the empty ‘hmmm’
Homer’s life teaches us the nuances of life that provide it a meaning. A silly neighbour who doesn’t know the difference between a Duff and a Guiness, an over-optimistic wife who expects you to give up on alcohol sometime, a disrespectful son who throws his beer can, a daughter who seems to know everything else apart from the composition of a tequila shot and a baby daughter who can’t say “vodka” – even such horrors have as much impact on him as water has to a man in a bar.
Homer’s life teaches us the nuances of life that provide it a meaning. A silly neighbour who doesn’t know the difference between a Duff and a Guiness, an over-optimistic wife who expects you to give up on alcohol sometime, a disrespectful son who throws his beer can, a daughter who seems to know everything else apart from the composition of a tequila shot and a baby daughter who can’t say “vodka” – even such horrors have as much impact on him as water has to a man in a bar.
A small quote from his own life in an exam hall sums up the living of a great man who we can always respect and remem-beer:
Homer: All right brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Homer's brain: It's a deal!
Homer's brain: It's a deal!
“Here's to alcohol- The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!”
(Have I said this before? Hic…)
(Have I said this before? Hic…)
posted by DRACULA at
22:45
- 2 Comments -
kal said...Good going with this one! All truly creative? The beginning sounds a little... inspired!
Nice job, none the less. Keep up the writing.
hhdrlts: famous last word of gagged man surrounded by homocidal women of negotiable affection.
Srini said...Hey kasewa
Ur not d only person who's asked me if 'its all creative'(unless u r d one who's asked me b4 or its d dejavu of alcohol) U have no idea how it pisses me off cos no guy in his senses(or out of it as in this case) wud do somethin thatlame...
